yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
