just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize