Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
