Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
