all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
