I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the day after is always just damage control
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
