I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
