Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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