New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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