his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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