stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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