Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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