Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
