My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
