think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
