My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
do herpes really smell.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
