Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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