Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
