An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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