i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Pants are for mortals
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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