Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
