yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
