Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
