We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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