You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
