K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
