Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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