I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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