Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
