If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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