so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
