Sry I called you an 8
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
