Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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