i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
