in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
