so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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