ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I touched a dick in church today
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
