i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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