puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
