Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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