Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
even my farts smell like vagina
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
