Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize