you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dear god my vagina.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize