WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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