I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
