how can u be prego again
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
