youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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