omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
