She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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