I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my shit smells like andre
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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