Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
