this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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