it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just invented taco cereal.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
