Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
