Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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