He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
