So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
