She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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