If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
