Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This is the high leading the old right now
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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